My sister, Polly VonBoeckman

Yesterday Michelle, Richie and I went to see my sister Polly at Agape Village in Hazel Green, Ala. I hadn't seen her in almost two years and this was my first visit since she had moved to this facility. It breaks my heart to see her. Her husband, Buddy, first noticed her mind getting bad when our Mother was still alive. I remember him telling me about some of the things she would do twelve-thirteen years ago. At this time she was not much older than I am now. At first it was hard for me to tell the difference but as time went on I, too could see the problems she was having. They lived in Horn Lake/Southaven, MS and the traffic was terrible. Buddy had hearing and eye problems and Polly would always drive. She had been involved in one bad accident but had walked away with no injuries. After that Buddy would always go with her. She would laugh and say that they could go anywhere since he would tell her where to go and she would just follow his directions!
As time went by I could tell that she was steadily getting worse. Buddy's health was failing and although I don't know for sure I think she had began to get a little mean to him. Finally there came a time when they could no longer live alone. They fought it until their son had no choice but to find a place close to him where they could live. Shortly after that Buddy had to go to a nursing home where he could have twenty-four hour care. It was just as well since now she looks at a picture of him and doesn't know who he is.
Polly is sixteen years older than me and we had one sister who was the oldest and one year older than Polly. She died of cancer in 1968 at age forty-four. Of the eight children in our family I am the baby.
In the almost two years Polly has been in Agape, my husband and I have had health problems and I have not been able to travel the one hundred plus miles to visit. I have missed seeing her so much. Finally my younger sister told me that if I wanted to see her while she would still know me I really needed to visit. My daughter, Michelle and I traveled to Huntsville and met my youngest brother's son, Richie and we went to visit with her.
I was really prepared for the worse but she was in much better condition than I had
anticipated. She has lost weight and is now gray headed. That is one of the things she and I always teased about. She hated gray hair and always kept hers so neat and dyed. When I started to gray at an early age, I really liked it, but she would say " Why don't you do something about that gray hair? It makes you look older". And I would laugh and say. "Well, at least I know what color mine is!" Now she is gray and I can't believe how much she looks like me and our mother. I never before thought that she looked like me, but now she does. she certainly doesn't look like she is eighty-five years old. I think I have more wrinkles than she does!
I cried when I first saw her and I cried again when I left. I don't know if I will see her again and if I do she might not know who I am. She did know me this time but I am sure that the minute I walked out the door she forgot I had been there. She didn't remember my other sister being there and I guess what hurt me most was when she ask us when we had talked to Gladys, even through Gladys had died before Michelle and Richie was born. We just pretended we hadn't seen her in a while, and she accepted that.
I don't know what will happen to me in the future. After seeing Polly and knowing my brother, Billy, is bedridden with what is also probably a form of Alzheimer's, and knowing that three of my sibling died at a young age with no way of knowing if they would have problems or not, I have decided that it is time to talk to my Neurologist next week and discuss what my options are. Since I had one massive stroke and have scar tissue from the blood clot I had, perhaps I need to take some medication to see if I can prolong my own mental loss. I hope I do not get like she is or Billy. It is hard for me and I can only imagine how it must be for their spouses and children.
I think the thing that strikes me most about both of them is the vacant look in their eyes. Both of them have the same look, almost as if they themselves are not really there anymore, but just a shell of themselves. Alzheimer's hurts everyone!